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http://piotr.blogbus.com/logs/48251424.html

discover that i am always going too dark and passive, thinking of things turning to worse condition, feeling depressing to the future, noticing others' shortages more than what are good at, etc.

last week, i watched a film "AWAYDAYS" at home. in the film, there's a scene that an main role called Elves incised his hand and wanted to be a die heart friend with another main role called Carty through that ceremony. while seeing the scene, i was thinking that Elves wanted to spread some horrible disasters just like AIDS. so, i said to myself that he never acceptted the hand-shaking with blood interaction. The result in the film was that Carty didn't accept, but Elves also didn't intent to harm Carty.

it's normal things that i presume a man, a phenomenon towards a nagetive side, and hold a notion that the condition mostly goes massively.and mostly, i am fault at last.

this concept may be built during a long time with my growing-up, so it's hardly to break it up in short days. i understand that i must change this depreciating minds, meanwhile, i need time and atmosphere, and process.